I know what men are

I know what men are.

Men drink and are routinely unfaithful,
Can’t see beyond the end of their dick,
Have faces like hams or wrinkled cardboard
Or are bold, sweaty and frightening -

I know what men are.

Men drive fast cars,
Like motorbikes,
Will kill for the sake of their pride,
Shoot off their mouths,
Fart, bellyache and grumble.

I know what men are.

Men are insane and out of control,
Vicious and vainly vainglorious.

No!

I know what men are.

Men are not like this.

Men don’t go down to the pub for a mindless drink,
Can even (apparently) sometimes think!

Men cuddle babies
And can stand up for themselves in fights
With their wives
(And sometimes win).

Men are prepared to challenge
Preconceptions
Misconceptions
Deceptions
Adulterated thinking
And Will Do What Is Right.

Men will
Go the extra mile
(And not always on a motorbike),

Men
Like to be cuddled
Like to caress
And have loving, faithful sex.

Men like emotions.
The crisp leaves of autumn,
The sound of the wind,
Cats
Machines
Stars
Women
Love
Mountains
And staying at home.

Men are not monsters.

I know what men are.

Men like to be involved with their children,
Going for walks,
Singing,
Picking their noses
Passion and commitment,
Fun,
And horsing around
(Though not necessarily horses.)

Men know how to change nappies,
Tell stories,
And create dreams.

Men are brilliant!

I know what men are.

Oct. 2001

A humorous poem about men. We’re not THAT bad
Here’s a whole load of other funny poems about men