I know what men are.
Men drink and are routinely unfaithful,
Can’t see beyond the ends of their dicks,
Have faces like hams and wrinkled cardboard
Or are bold, sweaty and frightening -
I know what men are.
Men drive fast cars,
Like motorbikes,
Will kill for the sake of twopence,
Shoot off their mouths,
Fart, bellyache and grumble.
I know what men are.
Men are insane,
Out of control,
Vicious,
Or ‘poofy’, ‘pansies’,
Vain and vainglorious.
No no no!
I know what men are!
Real men are the ones that don’t buy the magazines that say these things,
Don’t go down to the pub for a mindless drink,
Can even (apparently) occasionally think!
I know what men are.
Men cuddle babies and can stand up for themselves in fights
With their wives (and sometimes win).
Men are prepared to challenge:
Preconceptions
Misconceptions
Adulterated thinking,
Men
Will go the extra mile
(Not always on a motorbike, but it helps),
Men
Like to be cuddled, caressed and have loving, faithful sex,
Men like emotions,
The crisp leaves of autumn.
Cats.
Machines.
The sky.
Stars.
Buildings.
Women.
Love.
Fishing.
Being,
Staying at home.
Men are not monsters.
I know what men are.
Men like to be involved.
They like passion and commitment.
They like fun and horsing around
(Though not necessarily horses),
Men like little children (not always to eat),
They know how to change nappies,
Tell a story
And create dreams.
Men are brilliant!
I know what men are.
Oct. 2001
1
Comment by Anonymous
>< i think the first 2 verses were more accurate..
Posted on: December 2nd, 2008 at 1:23 pm
2
Comment by monica
Hysterical about the first comment. I bustd out laughing. men should not write poems
Posted on: May 11th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
3
Comment by Anonymous
I LOVE THIS POEM. IT’S NOT JUST A GENERALIZATION OF ALL MEN. NOT ALL MEN ARE THE SAME AND THIS POEMS HITS THE NAIL ON THE HEAD.
Posted on: May 20th, 2009 at 10:38 pm
4
Comment by Maria Mishina
it was good
but i dont think its a poem for children because its says word (SEX)
********** You’re right. It’s not really for children. But I’m going to leave that word in because I’m contrary. Sorry.
*********
Posted on: September 27th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
5
Comment by monica
lol this was an ok poem, but i agrue with the last person. this isnt ofr kids. sorry
Posted on: January 8th, 2010 at 7:58 pm
6
Comment by marie
i think this is brilliant not all men are the same and there are some truly amazing men in this world but they are overshadowed by the monsters, im lucky to have a guy who is wonderful and a brilliant father and he has changed my opinion on how amazing men can be……
Posted on: January 20th, 2010 at 6:03 am
7
Comment by Pauline
Your poem made laugh, it brought tears to my eyes.It’s true all men aren’t bad I wouldn’tchange mind for the world. So funny but true!
Posted on: May 12th, 2010 at 7:49 am
8
Comment by Adam
ha ha ha that wasn’t accurate at all, that may be sexist
Posted on: May 13th, 2010 at 10:37 am
9
Comment by Michelle
I like it!!!! i think it points out alot of what men really are it got me laughing and even my man liked it!!
Posted on: December 19th, 2010 at 12:49 pm
10
Comment by Lola
This poem, a child should not even read it, DUH….. I liked both verses, because it showed two sides, the pigs and the real men. Loved it
Posted on: December 13th, 2011 at 7:57 am