Wielding a poison
And a web full of glue,
An assassin is waiting –
Waiting for you.

There’s a slight little tremor,
You shivered in fear;
The spider has felt you,
And now it draws near.

Stay still in its web,
Don’t move a wing!
It can feel if you’re trembling,
It can feel everything!

Its legs are around you,
Eight eyes in your face,
Its fangs slide in swiftly -
The end of the race.

You’re packaged and twisted,
Covered in string;
You hang there immobile,
Aware of nothing.

You’re a meal on the wind,
You’re ‘ready to go’ -
Fast food still living,
Fast food now slow …

Oct. 2010

Oct. 2010

‘Zap!’ ‘Ker-pow!’, ‘Ker-boom!’ and ‘Bang!
The sky above the small town rang,
Oh! Dreadful noise! Oh, blinding light!
Giving humans such a fright!

A battle raged, eardrums were battered,
Those below had their sleep shattered
As cat slashed cat up in the sky,
A massacre where all would die.

A steady rain of bloodied limbs
Fell as the priest moaned fearful hymns,
Until the ground was thick with gore,
A mess of guts and fur and claw.

So surely now the fight was done,
Surely they’d had all their fun,
Surely none were left to die,
No more could fall out of that sky ?

But no, those fearsome cats kept going,
Until the faintest dawn was showing,
Until the merest touch of light
Impinged upon their strange delight.

And then what screaming, what despair !
As those few left fell through the air,
To drive into the ground with thumps,
Smashed into bloodied twitching lumps.

But even then it wasn’t done,
For as the humans thanked the sun
A moonbeam bounced off of a window
And grazed the butchered cats below.

And then what gasps! How people swore!
Disbelieving what they saw,
For the cats began to tremble,
Moved and began to reassemble!

Slow and steady, as they were ready,
Bits crawled across the floor,
Nudging into other bits
And joining up with more.

Then whole cats began to emerge
To a mournful, wailing dirge,
Limping, battered, sore for sure,
But sound of teeth – and fur – and claw!

Steady, steady, rose their yowling,
Which pretty soon turned into howling,
‘Til laughing, spitting, full of glee
They screeched out their tales excitedly.

What a battle they had had !
Brothers! Hadn’t they been BAD !
Did you see how they’d been fighting,
How they’d used their evil lightning ?

Slowly, in a cursing cloud,
They lifted, thunderously loud,
Scratching, hissing, wicked, wild,
Across the peaceful world defiled.

And nothing stayed to show they’d been,
The ground, the trees, the rooves were clean,
And nothing stayed upon the air -
Except one drifting lone cat hair.

The whale sailed slow beneath the moon,
Its baby by its side,
Crossing oceans three miles deep
And thousands of cold miles wide.

Cyborg

A hot metal stomach,
Glass to help my eyes,
Electric ears,
It’s also a surprise
To find my feet can spin
And I’ve artificial skin!

Who am I?

Boo!

Little star,
Shining bright,
Went ‘BOO!!’
Gave Moon a fright!

Mum’s instructions

Brush your teeth dear,
Blow your nose,
Clean your shoes
And change your clothes!

Feeding time

A zooful of children,
Eating food,
Mouths wide open -
Oh, so rude!

Snacks

Bread and butter for my tea,
Slugs and worms for snacks:
I know you don’t believe me
But those are the actual FACTS!

Bubble

A bubble is a miracle,
Fragile in the air,
A skin of stretched-out water
Floating everywhere.

Fly

This fly
Could be a spy,
Buzzing around
(Annoying sound),
Hither and thither,
Fast in a flicker
It’s changing direction,
A new location,
Barely in sight,
Incredible flight -
What does it see?
Does it see me?

The little seed

Blown on the wind,
Trampled by the rain,
The little seed must find its place
And grow a tree again.

See-saw

See-saw, Marjorie Daw,
Clickety-bang wallop
Bang bang click -
Looks like this see-saw needs mending.

The Cat with a smile

The Cat with a Smile
Will wait for a while,
Cleaning its paws
And sharpening its claws,
Though for what I don’t know -
Perhaps it’s just show?

If there’s a mouse nearby
Perhaps it should go ….

The moon

The moon is washing windows,
Dancing off the glass,
Resting on the praying trees
And painting the sleeping grass.

Rhino soup

Rhino soup
Is a bit of a gloop -
If we want good karma
Let them roam the savannah.

Glitter

Glitter on my fingers,
Glitter in my hair,
Glitter on the carpet -
Glitter everywhere!

Runny egg …

I ate a boiled egg
That wasn’t cooked quite right -
The white was liquid jelly,
My face was quite a sight!

Bad cat!

The birds are feeding in the snow,
Pecking at little seeds -
The black cat’s at the window,
Thinking of evil deeds!

Little kitten

Little kitten rolling around,
Chasing a piece of string,
Fluid in its beauty,
Amazed at everything.

Dragon

If you see a Dragon
Sitting in a boat,
Scare that little Dragon
By saying her boat won’t float!

Party

Hands – clap,
Fingers – snap,
Feet – tap,
Mouth – sings,
Laughter wings
Its way round the room

Naughty children

Football in the classroom,
Teacher’s just gone out:
Little Willie Nelson
Was told to give a shout.
Oh, she’s coming back!
Oh! We cannot wait!
Little Willie Nelson’s
Been left to his sad fate!

Bath

When I’m in the bath,
I like to play for hours -
Splashing water on the floor,
Building big foam towers.

Cat Song

The cat was proud, it’s neck was long,
It played a howly, wincey song
That struck the neighbours in the head -
They wished the blasted cat was dead!

Angels

Angel 1 and Angel 2,
Fast asleep in bed -
Tell me, little angels,
What’s in an angel’s head?

Digging in the garden

Out in the garden,
Playing in the sun -
Pulling up the flowers
Is everso much fun!

Racing pigeon

The racing pigeon’s extremely fast
When chasing after food,
All other birds are pushed aside,
Which is extremely rude.

I wash up

I wash up,
You wash up,
He/she washes up -
We wash up,
You wash up,
They wash up.

If only.

Mum’s view

Fish fingers for her dinner,
And butter for her tea -
No wonder she is fonder
Of her Daddy than of me!

Spots

The Leopard’s spots
Cannot be caught -
Unlike measles
Which you catch off weasels.

Picture

There’s a picture on the wall,
Of me when I was quite small -
Who’d have thought
I was so short ?

Clean fish

Every fish that’s ever been
Has tried at some stage keeping clean -
Which is quite tough in dirty water
(But Mummys always say you oughta!)

My little lord

Sitting on the carpet,
Looking at T.V -
This is how I like it,
Everything brought to me!

Children

Two kids,
Two tunes,
Played together
Like two spoons.

I hadn’t seen the sea before

I hadn’t seen the sea before,
(Which isn’t strange since I am four) -
I hadn’t seen the sea before,
It’s really BIG out there.

I hadn’t seen the sea before,
(The waves keep rushing to my feet!)
I hadn’t seen the sea before,
I’ve just got to stare.

Old cat

If you see an ancient cat
Staring out to sea,
Give it a little tap on the back
And say it was from me.

Lemmings

The lemming travels far and wide
To throw itself to death:
Someone must have told the lemming
The lemming’s got bad breath.

Out on a cold day

Out on a cold day,
Out in the sun -
It doesn’t really matter
When you’re having fun.

Bin and gone

The binmen have bin,
The bin has gone -
This is the end
Of my silly song.

Aeroplanes

When aeroplanes fly
They fracture the sky:
But the cracks are quite clean,
And so can’t be seen.

Fighting Witches

Deep and dark in the evil sky
The witches fought ’til by and by
They got bored chopping off each other’s heads
And went back home to their bloody beds.

Cuthbert

Has anyone seen Cuthbert ?
He hasn’t had his cuthtard.
He is a naughty boy -
He left his saveloy!

Nobody saw what I saw

Nobody saw what I saw,
The strange thing in the sky;
All they did was comfort me -
“What WAS it made him cry?”

Spiders

I couldn’t sleep for spiders,
Spiders climbing everywhere -
I couldn’t sleep for spiders,
Spiders all round me.

I couldn’t sleep for spiders,
Spiders climbing in my hair:
I couldn’t sleep for spiders -
They’re all that I can see.

I couldn’t sleep for spiders
(Someone keep the light on bright!):
I couldn’t sleep for spiders,
Oh! What a terrible night!

Bogies

Bogies come in different shapes,
In different colours, different weights,
Some are straggly, long and thin,
Some are wet and won’t stay in,

Some are smeared across my face
(Losing them would be a waste),
Whilst others must be flicked away
Because they cling and want to stay.

My sister says bogies taste great -
She’d love to eat them off her plate!
But since her nose is now empty
She’ll have to have a proper tea.

This little red sock

This little red sock’s
Floating round all free -
This little red sock’s
Here to torment me!

This little red sock’s
Hiding in the drum:
This little red sock
Is having so much fun!

This little red sock’s
Dyed my clothes all pink -
This little red sock’s
Made my wardrobe shrink!

Spot

Squeeze the bugger out,
Let out a little shout,
There is not the slightest doubt -
That hurt!

Are Martians real?

Are Martians real?

Yes.

Daaaad….

Yes, they’re real.

Do they hurt you ?

No. Not the fat ones.

Are there thin ones ?

Yes. It’s the thin ones you have to watch out for.
They eat you from the inside out.

Daaaad.

But don’t worry, there’s no thin ones here,
Not in this house.
They’ve all gone.
They’ve been eaten -
By the fat ones.

Daaaad…..

Are Martians real ?

Custard

If all the custard in the sea
Was second helpings just for me,
Would I ask for more ?
I’m really not that sure.

My Doll’s Got a Sister

My doll’s got a sister,
Little sister.
My doll likes me,
But she likes her little sister more.

‘That’s O.K,’ I say,
‘Sister’s are good.’

Mummy says I’ll have a sister soon
(Only not to be surprised if it’s a brother,
Because sometimes even adults can’t tell) -
I don’t care.

My doll’s got a brother, too.

20/8/01

Poor cat! He slowly walked what seemed a mile,
Eyes quite green with unspent bile,
Leaving footprints dark and deep
When he should have been snugly asleep.

Oh! The log fire burnt within the grate
As Mr.Cat swore, full of hate,
Wishing he was sprawled out wide
And definitely, definitely, in inside.

‘Pass the pudding, raise a cheer,
Have more turkey now, my dear,
Pull a cracker, wear a hat -
Has anyone seen that dratted cat?!’

Sad he plodded, cross he wailed -
Sadly caterwauling failed -
Off he trotted, very low,
Slinking, sinking through that snow.

Oh! The passion in his heart,
Bursting his small frame apart -
The hatred for the feasts he saw
When he was kicked out of that door.

Pass the snowflakes, find some ice,
The freezing cold is not so nice -
Pull a tendon, feel quite sore,
The wind is blowing now, quite raw.

Mr. Cat, what have you done,
Why have you missed out on the fun -
What was it made those people do
The unspeakable to you ?

Oh! Mr.Cat, I wish you’d smile,
As you grimly walk what seems a mile,
I wish that you’d admire with me
This world of lovely soft beauty.

Please, Mr. Cat, don’t leave us here,
Enjoying all this festive cheer,
Find a nearby snowy place,
Somewhere to hide your coal-black face.

Leave the outhouse, leave the trees,
Skulk around our back door, please -
We need to hear your piteous miaow,
Saying you ‘want to come in now’.

Oh Mr. Cat, I see you still,
My chin upon this windowsill -
There, you’ve gone! Still grimly certain,
As I draw my cosy curtain.

Oct. 20001

For being just a trifle young
It didn’t know this rule of thumb,
That what seems small a long way off
On closer sight is big and tough.

So when the lorry curved the bend
And beeped and flashed its lights no end,
The hedgehog – looking up with glee -
Shrieked ‘That thing’s saying ‘Hello!’ to me!’

And feeling proud it took a turn
(There wasn’t that much time to learn)
Across the tarmac stretching wide
When it should have stayed close to the side.

‘I’m here!’ it screeched – ‘I like your style!’
And with a yell stretched wide a smile,
‘Let’s get together, you and me -
I feel we have a destiny!’

The lorry roared, it changed a gear,
The hedgehog felt a twinge of fear,
But being brave it held its head
And stood up straight and tall instead.

‘Hurrah! Hurray!’ it clapped and cheered
(The watching magpies coughed and jeered)
‘You’re big! You’re great! I cannot wait!’ -
But by that time it was too late.

With thirteen wheels on either side
And forty tons out for a ride,
The lorry hardly made a bump
In squashing flat that little lump.

And as each wheel rolled Hedgehog thinner
The magpies said goodbye to dinner -
And flew away to wipe their eyes
On buttercups, with heart-felt sighs.

3/00

It’s boring waiting on the stairs,
Hoping they’ll walk by,
Boring making little creaks,
Trying to make kids cry.

It takes so long to learn this trade,
To skulk and tap and moan,
It’s boring waiting all the time
In someone else’s home.

I want to see the world out there,
I want to make some friends,
Waiting for the night-time
Never seems to end.

I’d like to slide down bannisters,
Shriek and yell and scream,
Boogie to some disco songs,
Let off a bit of steam,

I’d like to run around the house,
Turn on all the lights,
Eat marshmallows, watch T.V,
On dark and dismal nights.

I’d like to have a bath sometimes,
And clean my smelly hair -
Put some decent clothes on,
For someone who would care.

I’d like to sit down to a meal,
Smile and laugh and chat,
Have a coffee and ice-cream,
Put on a little fat.

I dream of being normal,
Having a little fun -
It’s boring being a Monster,
When all is said and done.

Tom began to walk,
At a steady beat:
Peter hurried after him,
Tripping at Tom’s feet.

Tom-Tom-Tom-Tom-Tom…………..
Peter-Peter-Peter-Peter-Peter……….

Peter quite liked Annabelle,
But Annabelle was fast:
Annabelle was hurrying,
Afraid of being last.

Peter-Peter-Peter-Peter-Peter…………
Annabelle-Annabelle-Annabelle-Annabelle-Annabelle………..

Annabelle’s big sister
Also came along:
Annabella hoped that she
Could also join this song.

Annabelle-Annabelle-Annabelle-Annabelle-Annabelle……….
Annabella-Annabella-Annabella-Annabella-Annabella……..

Tom and Annabella
Tried to keep together:
Annabella sped along,
Going hell for leather.

Tom-Tom-Tom-Tom-Tom……..
Annabella-Annabella-Annabella-Annabella-Annabella…….

Peter thought that Annabella
Ought to be his friend,
He ran along beside her
To achieve that end.

Peter-Peter-Peter-Peter-Peter………
Annabella-Annabella-Annabella-Annabella-Annabella………

Now that they are travelling
In a little group -
See if you can keep them close
In an endless loop.

Tom-Tom-Tom-Tom-Tom……….
Peter-Peter-Peter-Peter-Peter……….
Annabelle-Annabelle-Annabelle-Annabelle-Annabelle….
Annabella-Annabella-Annabella-Annabella-Annabella………

2002

Hit the gas,
Smash clouds,
Dash through space,
Brake and turn,
Gently, gently,
Far too fast,
Skid to a halt,
Stopped at last!

Mr.Dragon,
Can you read that castle flag over there?
No?
I’m afraid, Mr. Dragon,
That you’ve just failed your Dragon Flying Test!

June 2005

She said.

Belinda could hopple
And topple
And stopple

Belinda could whipple
And whopple
And flopple -

She said.

Belinda could dance,
Belinda could sing,
Belinda was Bestest
At EVERYTHING -

She said.

But Belinda can cry,
Belinda can howl,
Because Belinda’s having a tantrum now -
I only said I didn’t believe her:
She’s good at her screaming, is my friend Belinda.

May 2002