Short cynical poems by Richard Macwilliam

Baa, baa, safe sheep,
I am not a fool -
Conform, conform's
Def'nitely best of all:
Once for my culture,
Just to be the same,
And once 'cos there's nothing
Going on in my brain.

Cultural conformity is an extremely powerful force.

US AND THEM

We don't mind possessing you
But you're not possessing US -
We still think THEY'RE our property
And we'll kick up quite a fuss......!

Cross-cultural marriages are often one-way, with one race refusing to allow its women to be married to the men of another race.

WORK

Work
Sucks out breath
Mocks
Builds lies
Drains
Tires
Squeezes

Narrows eyes agains the world,
Builds barriers between species,
Sharp Boss
And Stolid Worker,
Work makes us a prisoner,
Turns the vibrant dull-eyed,
And the dullard into a 'leader' -

Work is a deceiver.

Here's another excellent poem by Alan Harris, Farmer Karma, all about growing up on a farm but not wanting to be a farmer.

IN THE JUNGLE DRUMS WILL ROLL

In the jungle drums will roll,
Daddy's boy's elected -
His brother bent the voting
(Entirely expected.)

In the jungle drums will roll,
It's Big Chief Pay-Back time -
Line up with your hands outstretched
If you gave a dime.

In the jungle drums will roll,
The Empire's got a Chief -
No one wants to point out
Thhe man is just a thief

Dodgy brother, dodgy state officials, dodgy voting system, biased judges, corporate bank-rolling.

ON EVERY FACE

On every face across the world
A little smily doth unfold -
On hearing that the price of air
Has dropped, and once again is fair.

And every after-dinner drink
Leads grasping City minds to think
That though the Earth slides down the drain
The price will rise soon, once again.

For when the price is high there's glee,
(And in the City drinks are free),
And once again the world spins fast
And everyone forgets the past.

4/00

TROPHY WIFE

The trophy wife is hunted,
By every little Snark -
She bends herself to their sad dreams
Until she finds her mark.

Marriages made in heaven since the women want power/money, the men want sexual gratification. They deserve each other. A mark, by the way, is a victim of trickery.

ABERRATION OF MORALITY

'Stuff happens.' as a bomb falls,
'Stuff happens,' as the wind blows,
Stuff your 'stuff.'

Minds fold,
Brains close,
The world reduced to a power-mad
Aberration of morality.

I imagine, one day, a race of humans with

Insight
Wisdom
Morality
Compassion
Vision
Imagination
Creativity.

Until then we live by the Old School's Rules

Oil
Wealth
Power
Greed
Cunning

Death glinting off cold spectacles,
Clean, mean, clear-cut simple minds
And their simple certainties.

'Stuff happens.'

Death happens.

9/05

I HAVE A LITTLE TROPHY WIFE

I have a little trophy-wife,
The latest in a line:
She's only just turned 20,
But I'm sure she'll do just fine.

I have a little trophy wife
Who sold her soul for gold:
We're mercenaries, hearts of ice,
A deal between the cold.

I have a little trophy wife,
Picked to my high ideals:
She's got loads of contacts
And will help to grease the wheels.

I have a little trophy wife,
We'll sort the love-bit out:
I'll paint some false emotions
On the face of this old trout.

I have a little trophy wife,
The baby's on its way -
Another useful extra
In my Top Window Display.

Based on some old trout who blatantly wanted to grease the wheels in a new overseas business venture and chose a trophy wife who would help with the contacts.

LIBEL

'Oh! They libelled me!' he cried -
His lawyers nearly died :
'Untruth upon unreason, we're definitely on your side!'

But what they didn't realise was -
He lied!

Choose between Aitkins or Archer, each loudly protesting his innocence and intimidating anyone who dared to say otherwise . Until each was convicted of perjury.

KID'S FOOD, CRAP FOOD

There's this crappy product
That we're asking you to buy -
We're aiming it at children,
So we're gonna be quite sly.

We'll give them little goodies
That will go with their crap meal -
The toys that they then take home
Will be the BEST part of the deal.

This cheap and nasty food they'll eat
Is sold with great panache -
You really should appreciate
How well we sell our trash!

Think of any Mega-Corp and the shit they sell. It's the toys that get the kids through the door, not the food.

WEB AWARDS

An award of 5! I am impressed,
It seems your site's among the best -
Oh! Let me check, oh let me see
How you've done so brilliantly!

Ah, you give awards and ..... wait, that's it ?
Otherwise, your site is shit?

It seems you haven't much to say,
An echo of the world today,
Empty, vacant, void and bare,
There's nothing here that you can share.

Why don't you save us all some strife -
Just go and get yourself a life !

Not so long ago crappy useless sites were awarding each other web design awards on the 'you scratch my back, I'll scratch your back' principle.

Thankfully this practice seems to have died out or I no longer move in those rarefied circles.

If you can't design a decent site you must imagine that you can move up the pecking order (with no effort) by giving your 'award' to other sites.

IN THE LAND OF THE FREE

'It's War!' shouted the papers.

'It's War!' bellowed the T.V.

'YEES!' screamed the people.

'Excuse me,' said one little voice, 'but surely -'

'SHUT UP!' they all shouted in unison.

'Excuse me,' said another little voice, 'but perhaps -'

'No!' they all shrieked, sounding even more ferocious.

'It's WAR!' hurrahed the radio.

'But really,' said another little voice, 'shouldn't we -?'

'GO AWAY!' they all yelled, 'WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW!'

And they made him, and him, and her, apologise
For daring to question their world view,
In this (apparently)
The Land of the Free.

America post 9/11, with public apologies from several T.V presenters who dared to question the mob mentality Bush created and then exploited.

FRANTIC WOMAN

Frantic woman screams around in her car chasing dreams
Of yesterday, tomorrow, today,
Looking good,

Lounges at home doing nothing, goes nowhere,
Stares blankly at T.V. before rousing herself briefly
To be busy, busy, busy yet again!

Frantic woman
Has Important Friends, Important Job, Important Life

But really
She's just a con.

Poem about busy busy women who look good, buzz around, look important.

I WAS 18 WHEN THEY MARRIED ME

I was 18 when they married me,
But 16 when I died:
15 and my hopes were full -
14, eyes still wide;
And all the time that went before
Was childhood in its dreams -
Their hands were light, they guided me,
Their truths were what they seemed.

Yet though the hours are filled up now
I sometimes see a light,
And kneeling down before a God
I puzzle on their 'right';
Their expectations moulded me,
I couldn't fight their lies -
I struggled for a moment
Then died without surprise.

So what hope is there for my child
Born to this bounded hell -
And though my eyes are open now
Will hers be closed as well?

The power of the old and the pressure of the family to get younger people to conform.

Where I used to live girls of 14 were still full of wide-eyed innocence; at 15 they had hopes and dreams; at 16 something died inside them and at 18 they were married and pregnant.

They never had a chance because they were guided gently and subtly by those who knew 'better', full of certainty.

The last line asks if her child will have her eyes (perception) closed down as well.

DONALD'S CHEMICAL

Amazingly sweet,
Slickly
Peddled,
Always present,
Replacing sugar,
Toxic,
A LOT of
Money involved,
Endless shenanigans:
Madman calls in favours,
Eyes profits,
Announces proven safety record,
Never gives a
Shit,
Publicly
Outraged
If questioned,
S
O
N of a bitch

http://www.rense.com/general33/legal.htm
QUOTE: The FDA had actually banned aspartame, only to have Searle Chairman Donald Rumsfeld vow to "call in his markers," to get it approved.

On January 21, 1981, the day after Ronald Reagan's inauguration, Searle re-applied to the FDA for approval to use aspartame in food sweetener, and Reagan's new FDA commissioner, Arthur Hayes Hull, Jr., appointed a 5-person Scientific Commission to review the board of inquiry's decision.

http://www.321recipes.com/aspartame.html
QUOTE: The newly appointed FDA commissioner Arthur Hull Hayes overruled the final scientic review panel, approved aspartame, and then went to work for G.D. Searle's (initial owner of aspartame) public relations firm at $1,000 a day. Hayes has refused all interviews to discuss his actions.

http://www.321recipes.com/aspartame.html
QUOTE: Dr. Russell Blaylock, M.D., Neurosurgeon: "Over 100 million American now consume aspartame products...There is sufficient medical literature documenting serious injury by these additives in the concentrations presently in our food supply to justify warning the public of these dangers. The case against aspartame is especially strong."
http://aspartamekills.com/lydon.htm
QUOTE: In the May 1992 edition of their journal, flying Safety, the United States Air Force warned all pilots to stay off aspartame, stating:
"Some people have suffered aspartame related disorders with doses as small as that carried in a single stick of chewing gum. This could mean a pilot who drinks diet sodas is more susceptible to flicker vertigo, or flicker-induced epileptic activity. It also means that all pilots are potential victims of sudden memory loss, dizziness during instrument flight and gradual loss of vision."

THE MINISTER

The Minister was foolish,
The Minister was wrong,
The Minister's career
Meant he HAD to appear strong.

Oh, BSE is lovely,
It rots away the brain -
If only he'd had that excuse
Instead of personal gain.

Please, dear pygmy rulers,
Look up these words for me -
There's 'rigorous', 'analysis',
And the big 'INTEGRITY.'

One exceptionally stupid man publicly fed his daughter beefburgers as the great BSE debacle raged.

You have to weep, you really do. Since there's a possible incubation period of 20 years let's hope Mr. Dumbcluck's got it right.

THE LITTLE PRION

The little prion survived 130 degrees Centrigrade -
No one knew if it lived in milk,
And milk was in:

Biscuits
Cake
Bread
Ice cream
Baby foods ...

No one knew if it lived in gelatine,
And gelatine was in:

Chocolate
Jelly
Medicine ...

No one knew if it lived in meat-extract,
And meat-extract was in:

Crisps
Noodles
Gravy powder ...

When the Minister fed his daughter

He knew nothing.

When the Chief Medical Officer made his pronouncements

He knew nothing.

When the teenager died

She knew nothing.

The little prion laughed
And had a fine old time of it all,
Because knowing nothing
Is not a barrier.

Mr. Dumbcluck again, and the usual jobsworth official who put his career first and kowtowed to his political masters.

THE ENGLISH MINDSET

The English mind-set's quite a laugh,
We sell it first and then we ask -
Will radiation hurt the brain ?
Will BSE drive us insane ?
Do ciggies harm our English health ?
Will GMO destroy by stealth ?

And in crises we turn to fools
(Those tame ones who obey the rules,
And take their silver for their lies,
Pretending to be wise.)

So let us spell it out for Judas :
You test it first, and then you tell us -
And make it plain to Ostrich-person,
When reassured, be VERY uncertain!

Here in the U.K. we market it first, test it second.

In one classic case of dumbness the government declared that meat was 'safe' in the middle of the BSE crisis and it was sold at half-price to a million morons.

We are a dumb, dumb nation.

REINCARNATION

If being reborn is true,
Then what I'd like to know,
Is why it seems first-timers
Dominate the show.

If we're all going through reincarnation then how come all the crap people (first timers?) are in charge?

Here's a brilliant poem about reincarnation by Alan Harris and it's called Ones

JUNK MAIL

They must think I'm really sad,
Or maybe just a little mad:
'Which car would you like to win?' -
Hey! Welcome to your home, this bin!

And that's the only place for junk mail.

DRUNKEN SCIENCE

Forgive me, I'm the moron
Who made the GM rules:
My science is the small-print,
I'm a Chief among stthe fools.

I've decided GM's boundaries
Will be a few feet wide -
Bees can't fly that distance
(And if they did they would collide).

And wind won't blow the pollen,
Since pollen's very light:
It goes straight up into the clouds
And stays there, at that height.

Contamination is impossible
(No inter-species dread disease):
You'll see I'm right when GM's are loose
(Now THAT'S a splendid wheeze ! )

We didn't want to test them
(But if we must it's only fair
That you lot in this feeble world
Will test the lion's share).

You see, with AIDS and BSE,
With cigs, the mobile phone:
The MEDIA made the problem
As all good research has shown.

Illness isn't possible
(We know what we have done!),
I hate to be a spoilsport
But we know you've jumped the gun!

You want too many answers
(And if there's none you pry),
D'you think that we are capable
Of the scientific lie?

Our questions are specific,
Our gaze is very sharp:
The big picture's no real problem
So please - you mustn't carp.

We've got our terms of reference,
Our careful, precise view :
We're certain we can figure out
What is - and isn't - true.

Companies and their tame scientists did zero testing before releasing GM (Genetically Modified) crops.

THE DAD FROM HELL

I'm an over-achiever,
I didn't get anywhere -
I'm living it out through my poor kids
(Just stop me if you dare!)

We've ten hours tonight of homework,
My programme's very strict -
They're crammed to the gills with info.,
But full of dysfunctional shit.

Their uni's proud to accept them,
It's all good grist to their mill -
Though they won't do much that's REALLY profound
We like to imagine they will.

I'm an over-achiever,
A control-freak who lays down the law -
There's only been one who disagreed
(But he had a fatal flaw.)

I turned him off as soon as he went,
There's lots more where he came from -
He displayed a terrible attitude,
And was getting far too strong.

I'm an over-achiever,
(They're trying to get me out there!),
Yet my programmes safe, my kids are well-trained -
Just stop me if you dare!

July 00

Based on a true story about an over-achieving and paranoid Dad from hell (read screwball) who hothoused his children. One was strong enough to escape and do his own thing - the Dad promptly disowned the child.

Strangely, Universities seem to welcome such fragile hot-housed children, even though from what I can see most of them contribute very little of significance to the world after university.