FIRE

Newborn , fierce, a struggle of terror -
Terror pulling at its' heart,
Pulling it up, pulling it out,
Reaching,
With hands and tongues that die without more terror -
Oh, terror is a beautiful thing to behold,
So strong, so desperate, vibrant,
Life,
A force full come
That drives the weeds of the mind to cobwebbed dust
Floating on the air :

It must survive, consuming,
Lust for life,
A desperate reaching, driving, on and out,
Knowing if it doesn't touch it dies:

I cannot watch it die, and feed it just enough
To keep it tamed, raw fingers grasping,
Caged -
The venom in its song would eat me in a whisper,
Pouncing like a crab or spider :

And still it tries to lure me in,
Those many eyes glinting lies,
'Come closer, my little one,
Come here –'
Cleverly done, but I am more clever,
And feed it less until it cries out for more -

Subdued, full-fed on an empty stomach,
Its' terror tamed, closed in,
It holds itself now in a little heat,
Unwilling to lose its' small full meal
Which is its' life,

And I bask now in its' tamed warmth -
We have an understanding:
I feed it, she smiles, chuckles,
Bursts out small lies,
Loves me -

But underneath there lurks a monster,
Waiting for the lies to be undone,
Waiting
To leap out

And CONSUME me!

19/9/99