Sitting on my bed,

I said to the little Angel,

“Am I REALLY dead?”

The Angel laughed,

Said, “Not at all,

You’ve simply had

A nasty fall!”

“I’m here to check that you’re okay,

And once that’s done

I’m on my way!”

“First, your name  – I see,

Kindly spell that out for me -

Age? Uh -huh,

Color of eyes?

Now – let’s get serious -

Do YOU tell lies?”

“Oh – you’re sure? Honestly?

You wouldn’t NOW be lying to me?

Okay – what have we here -

They really ought to make this clear  -

Have you stolen? Said bad things?

(Angels can’t – we’d lose our wings!)”

“Hmm. Sulks and tantrums?

I’ll tick ‘Yes!’,

I’m sure that’s just a lucky guess;

Rude to your parents? -

Obviously -

Polite and charming though to me ….”

“Do you brush your teeth?

Comb your hair?

Can you sit upright in a dining chair?

Talk pleasantly to aunts and cats,

And visit relatives in their flats?”

“Mmm, it’s looking good,

Few more to go …

Spiteful? Let’s tick ‘No.’

Greedy? Whaddya say? -

I’m in a generous mood today.

Jealous? There was THAT time  -

You’ve changed, have you? Okay, that’s fine!”

“Hey – you’ve passed!

You’re not the best,

But in this little Angel test

You’ve scored high enough to carry on,

Living life and having fun!”

My gently melting face
Drips down the mirror
As though lies and lakes were mapped on the moon:

My gently melting face
Turns inwards,
Eating away at the beauty of youth,
Carving out age,
Holding my values to the world for all to see -

My gently melting face
Unfortunately
Is me.

Still trees stand proud by the neck of the river

Still trees stand proud by the neck of the river:
The gloaming, all gloom, defeats their shape,
Knocks out all colour -
Sounds:

Rushed water’s wash,
A child’s sharp cough,
Scuffled leaves.

… depths of their slumbers, the beech, chestnut
Feel out their warmth in silent contemplation,
Gathering in hours.

Held in an anvil of quiet the evening goes nowhere,
Waiting in expectation for a pause
That never comes.

March 00

Concept Poetry

I commissioned her
To write a poem.

She wrote it,
I sold it:

Concept Poetry.

Variety

We’re so blind we cannot see
The beauty in variety:
It has to be explained away
As something that will one day pay!

Oh! If only we had brains
Not trapped in narrow, winding lanes,
And spirits that could touch the sky -
If only we could fly!

People Who Are Skilled At Bending The Law

People who are skilled at bending the law earn oodles of money,
And we call them barristers.

People who are skilled at breaking the law earn nothing,
And we call them crooks.

People who are skilled at observing people who are skilled
Laugh behind  ALL their backs
And quite honestly can see no difference.

Book

Their Book was truth,
Their book was Told -
Not only that
Their book was Old.

Being a Man

Being a man’s O.K,
But the raging horses are a nuisance:
You can’t let them run wild or they’ll tear you apart,
And if you coral them they respond by kicking the fence down -
So all that’s left is to get with the good woman
And let her tame the beasts.

Days

I’ve drifted across a day like a cloud,
Wasted the wealth of hours,
Washed my face in dreams
And touched on the Infinite Almighty with a prayer.

Other days I’ve rushed like a tornado,
Smashed through the minutes,
Seen time flit away
And finished with a bang not a whimper
As my exhausted head hit the pillow.

Who is to say which is right ?

2002

This Illusion

This illusion that we’re all HERE
Doesn’t tie in with the concept of space
And nothingness between atoms,
Not to mention dreams, love, hate and hard work,
Tea at 5 o’clock
And the evening news.

Did I miss something?

All I had was the moon

It was in the dark that the old moon shone -
By day it hid.

Snuck behind the trees in its still, slow journey,
I wondered how the world turned …
You could sharpen a knife on the gathering frost,
Take home pocketfuls of stars for sweets,
Stretch your ears to the wild shores in the silence.

It was just a moment, too deep to understand:
All I had was the moon,
Making its slow journey.

25/01/2011

Does he know that his wife’s unfaithful

Does he know that his wife’s unfaithful,
And looks at me with a secret smile -
Does he know that his wife walks
In a way no woman walks
Whose mind’s on the straight and narrow ?

A little sweetness, a little light,
A ray of sunshine, looking right -
Does he know that his wife’s unfaithful,
And looks at me with a secret smile?

The sea stirs silent in a ripple

The sea stirs silent in a ripple
On meddled shore, still dream hung, sun worn,
Ships outdone by a shadowed pall
As they sit like giant ghosts on the horizon.

In the beckoning of our nets shrimps flick dismay invisibly,
Fleet sand sparks leaving clouds of smoke
To tell us that they’ve gone

Into silence.

Art

Here:     this   is   a   poem.

I made it from fifteen words

Arranged   in     a   square.

The meaning is the context -
You can call it two sentences,
I call it Art,
Sold
For 1 million.

What is a dream?

What is a dream?
A dream is a goal, an inspiration,
A dream is where hope lives,
A dream is something to chase when life drags us down,
A dream is a song in the wilderness,
Good flowering from the mud of evil.

That is a dream.

Get yourself a dream,
Touch God and pray,
And never, ever let your dream get away.

I can wrap myself in a world of words

I can wrap myself in a world of words,
Knotted around my head in a colourful spelling of character and place,
Mood and time,
Feelings of fascination -

A world where the only sound is mine,
Where the only dance is the dance of ryhme,
Where the rythm’s chase is sublime
And the capture of a word in a sentence
Means more than all the weight of politics,
Almost as much as a star falling into place
Or the kiss of a summer’s leaf upon the wind.

There’s a Reach Towards the Heavens

There’s a reach towards the heavens,
And in the sun within my eye
A door to greater things,
And a distance I must fly.

There’s a song within the moment
When the air and earth stand still,
And in the moment of my listening
I touch upon God’s will.

And as I dream my soul out high
And cross the distant soaring sky,
I’m lost within a purpose
And deaf to earth’s dull cry.

And though I barely sense,
And though I barely see,
I know there’s a frightening beauty
Of fierce intensity.

And this is where my heart must go,
This, where I must flee -
To a strange and silent place
Of baffling mystery.

Self Pity

When I was born the sun lay down,
And time called out for clouds to lead me on -
But I refused to dance
And set up all the wailings of the newborn child,
Bitter at my loss,
Saddened by my plight,
Born to dust and earth
And dreary endless blight.

Consider This

Consider this – that though I say I love you,
Love dies at the lip:

Consider this – that though at times I hold,
There is no mystery in the grip:

Consider this – that though at times we bond and make
All earth move, it is no great shakes:

Consider this – this marriage is a mystery,
That works without Divine laws,
Is shaped and tamed, contains its’ flaws,
Still holds water,
Loves and dies,
Reborn on a second,
Shattered by some cries -

Consider this: do you consider this?

2/3/99

Gift

Wendy, my dear,
You gave me a book
(Which after all is just a thought),
And there wasn’t any thought -
And that speaks volumes
More than volumes.

Body

Here’s the heat of a thousand rivers,
Intertwining streams connected
To meet at mini-suns,
Then gather for the surge
Upwards -

Occasionally the world is clouds
In which we move,
Bubbles of thought,
Heavy bones in the evanescence of flesh.

27/01/2011

A short prayer

Dear God,
Thank you for looking after me.
Please help me to listen to you and obey you.

Amen.

Mondayitis

Bad temper, misery, crying:
Half-choked sobs, stifled unhappiness -
Mondayitis, moving house, loneliness in a new city,
There’s not a lot I can do and I don’t -
Bright eyed and fluey you snuggle fully dressed into bed,
Reading, fire fully on, concentrating on the ‘now’,
Perhaps losing yourself
As I dash round in a ball of ‘doing’, half-tensioned,
Driving myself on as I cross out the points on my list -
Mend trousers, write letter, fix lock, make present ….
Funny how the list is nearly always the same length whatever I do.

Moth

I watched a moth make ripples in a puddle as it drowned,
And felt aloof, detached, removed,
Stood distant from its suffering
As around, around, around
It thrashed in small tight circles but an inch away from stone,
So near to land and life,
Yet so distant, so alone.

Out of sorts

I was a little bit bored and then I found myself a life
- of sorts
And then I found myself a wife
- of sorts
(Ouch ! She just hit me!)
And then I found myself out
- of sorts
- with my wife
Of sorts
And my life
- of sorts.

Kind of a thought
- of sorts

About my life
- of sorts.

Upside down

Maybe shadows are actually real,
And the rain’s falling up, not down,
And the sun only shines on bad days
And a smile is in fact a frown.

Maybe the weather’s worse in Haiwaii,
Maybe drink makes me BETTER for wear -
Maybe when I laugh I’m weeping,
And when I’m polite I swear.

Maybe it’s all an illusion,
Perhaps it’s just me that feels mad:
Maybe the only solution
Is to be permanently unhappy-glad.

Words

He’s not in ‘cos he’s out;
She’s not out ‘cos she’s in -
Shouldn’t somebody
Make tautology a sin ?

Wallflower

Ah well, sweet peas
Let us tremble at the knees,
No one knows my name -
Now isn’t that a shame?

This is this

This is this
And that is as it should be:
Who knows,
There’s no telling
And in the end
It will be
Because
All over the place
Things aren’t what they seem,
Never are
Since ‘It’s all in the eye of the beholder’
And ‘What do you know?’

I know prose that says nothing
In a rhyme
Says lots of things, really.

Meeting

I didn’t like him, he didn’t like me,
I have no idea why that should be.

Poet’s Life

A poet’s life is not half bad,
In fact it is a little sad -
Sat in front of reams of paper,
Eating now and eating later.

Life

If life is but a dream,
Why is it that I want to scream ?
And if instead a nightmare,
Who was it said, ‘Put that one there?’

There’s this miracle

There’s this miracle, where ‘Wanted – Peruvian chest of drawers, handles of string’,
Will appear above this advert ‘For sale – Peruvian chest of drawers, handles of string’
In a newsagent’s window
And I wonder:

Do they ever come back and see their adverts again, these two people,
Or are their signs posted like birds to fly and twine
Before going their separate ways,
As their owners skulk in dark corners
Wondering if anything’s ever been seen?

My Neighbours

Oh, my neighbours say,
‘Look at those clothes he’s wearing today!’

But I say ‘It’s easier to change on the outside.’

For my kids

I haven’t a gift,
No structure, no hope -
I’ve ended up feeling
Quite a dope.

Religion is useless,
You’ll soon find that out -
All I can offer is
Endless doubt.

I have no great magic,
No sun for your sky,
But I want to be with you
When life makes you cry.

I want to have given you
Something that’s me,
Something to keep you
Forever safely.

I haven’t a gift,
And I’m feeling sad:
A gift for my kids, God,
Would sure make me glad!

These Poems

I can’t help myself with these poems,
If poems are what they are -
A few words that become a torrent and then subside,
Well up again,
Captured before they ebb away for all eternity:
And in that capture I find some primitive release,
A longing absolved,
A pent-up problem solved.

Kid’s food, crap food

There’s this crappy product
That we’re asking you to buy -
We’re aiming it at your children,
And we’re gonna be quite sly.

We’ll give them little goodies
That will go with their crap meal -
The toys that they take home
Will be the BEST part of the deal.

The cheap and nasty food they eat
Is sold with great panache -
You really should appreciate
How well we sell this trash!

Crook

‘You’re just the local handyman,’
The local crook told me -
But my sort of handy’s useful
And people like it when I’m free.

Bearded Wonder

The bearded wonder’s furry face
Is an excellent hiding-place
For the man who cannot cope,
And really hasn’t got a hope.

Junk mail

They must think I’m really sad,
Or maybe just a little mad:
‘Which car would you like to win?’ -
Hey! Welcome to your home, this bin!

Meditation

‘I meditate,’ he said,
‘Burn up my energy to flee the world,
Short-circuit the system -
Get a buzz,
Heal myself.’

Sure.

A flat battery’s no use to anyone.

Testosterone Man

Testosterone man lives at high pace,
So big, so strong, such a waste -
Soon dead, soon gone,
Such a shame he don’t last too long.

Web awards

An award of 5, I am impressed!
It seems your site’s among the best -
Oh! Let me check, oh, let me see,
How you’ve done so brilliantly!

Ah, you give awards and ….. wait – that’s it ?
But otherwise your site is shit?

It seems you haven’t much to say,
An echo of the world today -
Empty, vacant, void and bare,
There’s nothing here that you can share.
Why don’t you save us all some strife
And go and get yourself a life!

Lonely

I’m lost and lonely,
You’re my friend:
I’ve found my clique,
Now there’s the end.

Wife

I’m not really mindless but my husband is a fool -
To keep him sweet I shut my face, don’t talk to men at all.

I have a little trophy wife

I have a little trophy-wife,
The latest in a line:
She’s only just turned 20,
I’m sure she’ll do just fine.

I have a little trophy wife,
She sold her soul for gold:
We’re mercenaries, hearts of ice,
A deal between the cold.

I have a little trophy wife,
Picked to my high ideals:
She’s got loads of contacts
And will help to grease the wheels.

I have a little trophy wife,
We’ll sort the love bit out:
I’ll paint some false emotions
On the face of this old trout.

Umbrella Song

My umbrella is protection
From all sorts of frightening things:
I shield my face from your harsh gaze
And all the woes life brings.

Doggy

For every dog upon the road,
Doggy leaves a little load:
Yet every manic doggy owner
Claims a perfect little Rover.

Seems every doggy turd I step in
Is a figment of imagination,
And every mess upon my carpet
Is some other little doggy’s shit.

So give us DNA testing,
Microchip the dog’s intestine,
Give us decent doggy owners -
Or better still shoot England’s Rovers.

But nothing ever will be done,
Since no government wants the fun
Of being voted out of office
For the sake of Rover’s unstopped orifice.

Milk

Mummy cows have baby cows,
The babies are taken away:
The Mummy’s milk is fed to you
So your bones will break one day.

Us And Them

We don’t mind possessing you
But you’re not possessing US -
We still think they’re OUR property
And we’ll kick up quite a fuss!

Car Boy

This is my car, I like it a lot,
It’s meaning you see, my existence is not -
My friends like my car, they like what they see,
They see my car and they see me.

To touch a star

To touch a star:
First, build a rocket,
Fill it with fuel,
Select your astronaut.

Next, find your map,
Look to the heavens:
Aim.

Now, as you travel,
Let the sun in -
Count the stars.

Pray.

Pause.

Take a deep breath.

You are free to travel space and time,
And your journey is completed.

2011

The city

Here’s a city with walls and doors:
Invaders are repulsed,
Night and day the workers toil.

The stars call down,
The King sleeps,

Two rivers flow,
Silent in the night,
Wide and deep.

5/10/2008

This body

This body thumps blood and bleeds,
Breathes air and leaks,
Grinds foot and excretes,
Feels pain and screams,
Understands nothing but understands more than me
Who, the owner in charge of a ‘dumb’ machine
Charges round the night in dreams
And lives the day in confusion -

And yet, I’m told, the body is more than dumb,
Has an aura,
Energy channels,
Can feel other people nearby
And one day is an integral part of travel to the stars.

Dumb machine?
This body is part of the universe and knows as much as the universe.

24/3/06

T.V. thoughts

That the flickering owl in the corner
Eats my spirit
No one can deny:
But beat me with a banana,
Splash my face in water,
Chase me with your hoop la,
I’m not gonna die!

That the flickering owl with the wide eye
Is good for me
No one can deny:
But feed me with its opium,
Spear me with magic uranium,
Don’t bust my head with your learningum,
I don’t wanna fly!

Another little miracle

At work we went from strength to strength,
Seems we were on the same wavelength:
I left – we crossed paths now and then -
The wavelengths changed, and never again.

Death, yes, I can bear,
But not the thought of your eyes lonely in the white hell of hospital
As they bludgeon you with superficiality
And strip you of your essence,
Which is warmth, complaining, loving, needing and being needed.

I look down at your sleeping face, feel the heat of your body,
See your eyelids flicker, hear your deep breathing,
And know this is the way I want you to go.

At last, fed up, I leave, sneak out
And like a child from school truant along the road,
Soaring along on a motorbike with the wind behind my back,
Leaving today’s pointlessness all behind.

Baa, baa, safe sheep,
I am not a fool -
Conform, conform’s
Def’nitely best of all:
Once for my culture,
Just to be the same,
And once ‘cos there’s nothing
Going on in my brain!

‘Hmmm, boring!’ she thought, flicking through the channels. ‘Not interested in cartoons – more cartoons – boring! Oh – what’s this?’

Jocelyn Dragon didn’t normally watch nature programmes – too slow! – but she’d never seen so much snow in her life before. It was EVERYWHERE! And out at sea there were huge chunks of ice as big as castles floating around. And what was that? A large white furry animal walking across the snow and then jumping into the icy cold water and SWIMMING?

Jocelyn Dragon was so amazed that she rushed into the kitchen where her mum was tapping away at her laptop and begged her to come and take a look.

“That’s a polar bear,” her mum said. “They live a long, long way away. They eat fish and seals and they sleep in the snow.”

“They sleep in the SNOW?” Jocelyn Dragon said. “Don’t they get COLD?”

Her mum shook her head. “They have a nice layer of fat around them that keeps them warm.”

“Is that why YOU’RE fat?” Jocelyn Dragon asked. “So that you stay warm?”

“Well,” her mum said, “I’m not THAT fat …. Are Meryl and Emma awake yet?” she said, quickly changing the subject.

“I don’t think so,” said Jocelyn Dragon. “Mum, can we go and see the polar bears?”

“What, all of us?” her Mum replied, quite surprised. “It’s a LONG, LONG way away  …”

“I’ll ask them!” said Jocelyn Dragon, rushing off before her mum could stop her.

Well, Emma Dragon and Meryl Dragon were both very interested and when they asked their mums their mums said yes, so a few days later when they’d made some sandwiches and been told how to behave they set off. It was going to be hard work for Jocelyn Dragon’s mum but it WAS the school holidays, after all, and the other mums would take care of Jocelyn Dragon when they got back and give HER a break too, so she didn’t mind.

“Ready?” she shouted at the three small dragons as they stood on the castle roof where Jocelyn Dragon lived, ready to take off. Only dragons can fly so you mustn’t ever try this.

“YES!” the three girl dragons shouted back, “We’re ready!”

“Then let’s go!” shouted Jocelyn Dragon’s mum, launching herself into the air and flapping her wings.

Slowly the four dragons climbed into the sky until they were just dots in the distance. Slowly and steadily they flew across mountains and seas, taking naps in the air when they were tired, and chattering away all the time. For four days and nights they travelled, and the air around them became cold, and then freezing FREEZING cold, and the ground beneath them gradually became snowier and there were more and more little blocks of ice in the sea. Jocelyn Dragon’s mum was exhausted – keeping your eye on three young dragons is EXTREMELY hard work – but eventually they made it.

“It’s f-f-f-f-FREEEZING!” shouted Jocelyn Dragon when they landed. “Where are the polar bears?”

Jocelyn Dragon’s mum knew. She’d kept a beady eye open as they flew across the ice and had seen a polar bear in the distance, plodding away on its own across the snow. She smiled to herself.

“Look behind you!” she said, and there, climbing over a little hill of ice, was the polar bear. The young dragons shrieked with delight and the polar bear looked QUITE surprised. After all, it’s not every day that you come across four dragons in the snow.

“Hello, Polar Bear!” the girl dragons shouted, as the polar bear drew closer.

“We saw you on T.V.!” said Emma Dragon, who didn’t realise that there are lots and lots of polar bears and that they all look the same until you get to know them.

“Really?” said the polar bear, who wasn’t sure what T.V. was.

“Where can we find some FOOOOOD!?” Meryl Dragon shouted. “WE’RE STARVING!”

“I could eat a HORSE!” shouted Jocelyn Dragon.

“I could eat a COW!” shouted Emma Dragon, who didn’t want to be left out.

“What’s a horse?” asked the polar bear. “What’s a cow? Oh, never mind – we eat seal around here. Look over there – see that dark shape on the ice? That’s one I prepared earlier!”

“Eeeuugh!” said Emma Dragon. “Is it dead?”

“I hope so,” said the polar bear, “I’ve already eaten one of its flippers. Feel free to tuck in – you can have any bit you want – nose, tail, eyes, whatever you fancy …”

“YUMMM!” said Meryl Dragon, who was already busy chomping away, “THSSSS  SSSS DLICIUSSS!”

“Wait for me!” shouted Jocelyn Dragon, flapping over to the seal.

“And me!” shouted Emma Dragon.

“Help yourself,” said the polar bear to Jocelyn Dragon’s mum. “It’s all free!”

“Don’t mind if I do,” said Jocelyn Dragon’s mum. “Anyone got any salt?”

For a while there was the busy sound of munching. Flying takes a lot of energy and so does surviving the cold, and the dragons weren’t as well padded as the polar bear – not even Jocelyn Dragon’s mum – and needed to eat.

“That was GOOD!” said Emma Dragon at last as they looked at what remained of the seal. Dragons are quite happy eating raw meat. “But it’s still C-C-COOOLD!”

“You just need a little bit more of this,” smiled the polar bear tapping its large rather tummy. “Your Mum’s got the right idea,” it said, not realising that Emma Dragon was Jocelyn Dragon’s friend, or that Jocelyn Dragon’s mum wasn’t particularly happy about being called fat.

Jocelyn Dragon’s mum was about to say something and then she changed her mind and smiled instead. This was one place where being a little on the healthily plump side was GOOD!

“Hey!” said Emma Dragon, “does anyone want a snowball fight?”

“Can’t catch me!” shouted Meryl Dragon, and she threw a snowball that landed smack bang in the middle of Emma Dragon’s back.

“I’ll get you!” shouted Emma Dragon and she ran after Meryl Dragon with a snowball in her hand. Then she had a better idea and took off into the air. “Ha, ha, ha ha ha!” she laughed as she dropped a snowball onto Meryl Dragon. Within seconds the three young dragons were laughing and shouting as they flew around chasing each other, diving down to scoop up handfuls of snow and then throwing it at their friends.

“That’s enough, now!” Jocelyn Dragon’s mum said at last, when it looked like they might be getting tired and ready to fight. “Look what the polar bear’s brought us!”

The polar bear smiled weakly. Catching seals was hard work. It dropped the seal on the snow and flopped onto its back.

“Hey, tuck in again!” it said, and began to snore.

That was the start of a busy, exciting week for the dragons. They had snowball fights every day and went on little trips out to icebergs, and even learnt how to build an igloo. Which is quite difficult when three dragons are running around being silly and only one dragon is actually doing the hard work. And because it was so cold they did nothing but eat and eat and eat, and the poor old polar bear found himself dragging seal after seal across the snow.

Still, as the days passed and they began to put on weight they found themselves getting warmer and warmer until one day they were able to sunbathe quite comfortably in the cold.

“This is the life,” said Jocelyn Dragon. “I could stay here forever!”

“Mmmm! Comfy!” said Meryl Dragon.

“Yes, but I’m afraid we really ought to be getting home,” said Jocelyn Dragon’s mum, who was thinking about all the gossip she was missing and the small business she was meant to be running.

“Oh, do we have to?” moaned Emma Dragon who was already half asleep in the sun.

“’fraid we do,” said Jocelyn Dragon’s mum, thinking of the emails piling up in her inbox. “I’m sure Jocelyn Dragon’s dad is missing us!”

Very reluctantly and with a lot of heaving, puffing and panting, the four dragons stood up and wobbled uncertainly.

“Better go and see the polar bear,” said Jocelyn Dragon’s mum. “We’ve got a lot of thanking to do – he’s looked after us very well!”

The polar bear was fast asleep, snoring beside a huge pile of seal bones. The little dragons nudged him awake.

“Uh? What’s going on? You want ANOTHER seal?” he muttered, turning over and trying to get to sleep again.

“NO! WE’VE GOT TO GO NOW!” the little dragons shouted, and the polar bear propped himself up and tried to open his eyes.

“Really!? Oh – you’re going?” he said with relief. “I mean – really? You’re going?” he said, trying to sound regretful. “Oh!”

“Yes, we’ve got to go! And we’ve come here to say THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!” the little dragons shouted. “And we’ve made you a present out of snow – look!” and they pointed to a big snowman that they’d made that looked like a polar bear, with the words ‘Thank you!’ carved into the snow around it.

“Oh! Very nice too! Thank you very much indeed!” said the polar bear politely. “I wish you all a pleasant journey indeed! It’s been a pleasure!” he said, thinking of the seals and wondering how many were now left in the sea.

“Time to take off!” said Jocelyn Dragon’s mum. “Everyone packed up and ready? I’ll go first!” and she flapped her wings.

Then she flapped her wings even harder, and snow and ice blasted all over the place – but nothing appeared to happen.

“Strange!” she said, and she flapped her wings as hard as she possibly could. Then she sat down and just said, “Oh!”

“MY TURN MUM!” shouted Jocelyn Dragon, thinking this would be easy, but try as she could nothing happened to her either. She flapped her wings and even lifted her legs off the ground, but all she did was rest on her little round tummy. “Oh!” she said.

“ME! I’LL GO NEXT!” shouted Meryl Dragon and she too had a turn – and then so did Emma Dragon. But neither of them could lift into the air either.

“Ah!” said the polar bear, who’d been watching the dragons with interest. He coughed politely. “You might need to do a little bit of walking first,” he suggested, tapping his large tummy. “When you’ve lost a little bit of this – it might help …”

“Ah!” said Jocelyn Dragon’s mum. “Yes.” She coughed with embarrassment. “It’s been wonderful here, polar bear,” she said. “Thank you very much indeed. Girls – we’ve got a little bit of walking to do!”

“OH NO!” the three young dragons chorused, but all Jocelyn Dragon’s mum said was, “Oh, yes!”

And so they started walking. And they walked and walked and walked, and every day they got a little bit thinner, and every day they got a little bit colder.

“I HATE THIS!” moaned Jocelyn Dragon, shivering.

“I want some SEAL!” groaned Emma Dragon, whose belly was beginning to rumble very loudly.

“Why, oh why?!” sighed Meryl Dragon, who was feeling utterly, miserably sorry for herself.

“Soon be there, girls!” said Jocelyn Dragon’s mum brightly. “Try flapping your wings now!”

“Ouch, that hurt!” said Jocelyn Dragon, who hadn’t exercised her wings for a few days – but she slowly lifted into the air. “I did it, Mum, look – I did it!” she shrieked.

“Go on, Meryl!” said Jocelyn Dragon’s mum.

“Hey, I did it too!” shouted Meryl Dragon as she slowly lifted off.

“Your turn, Emma!” Jocelyn Dragon’s mum shouted.

“YIPPEE, I’M AIRBORNE!” shouted Emma Dragon, who knew what airborne meant because she was the cleverest of the three dragons.

“OK, girl!” muttered Jocelyn Dragon’s mum to herself. “You can do it, you can do it!” and with a mighty flapping of her wings she eased up and into the air. “Thank goodness!” she said. “Home, girls, home!”

And so off they headed, on the long journey back to the Castle of Golden Summer Light where Jocelyn Dragon lived.

At last they landed, folded their wings on the castle roof and stumbled into the kitchen.

“FRIDGE!” shouted Jocelyn Dragon, heading for the fridge.

“ONE AT A TIME!” shouted her mum

“UMMMMM!” chomped Meryl Dragon, who always seemed to be first at the food. “NO SEAL – THANK GOODNESS!”

“UMMM UMMM UMMM!” they all chomped and chewed. “UMMM!”

When at last they’d eaten as much as they could of everything that wasn’t in the remotest, tiniest little bit like seal they lay back on the huge sofa, their tummies sticking into the air.

“Just going to check my emails,” said Jocelyn Dragon’s mum, hauling her laptop close to her.

“Hey, what’s THAT!” shouted Meryl Dragon who’d turned on the T.V.

“Yes, what is it, Mum?” shouted Jocelyn Dragon.

“Uh – what?” said Jocelyn Dragon’s mum.  “It’s a lion, darling,” she said, typing ‘Darling’ and sending it to her best customer by mistake. “Oops!”

“Mum, can we ….?” Jocelyn Dragon began, but her mum already knew what she was going to ask.

“NO!” she shouted. “DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!”

Do you know what Jocelyn Dragon was about to say? Jocelyn Dragon’s mum did!

© Richard Macwilliam This short story for girls aged 4-6 was inspired by my short poem for kids ‘The Little Dragon’

The Snarkel has a hairy face
With warts the size of feet,
It spends its life in dirty yards
Chomping on raw meat.

The Ederbog

The Ederbog is wafty,
Drifting with the clouds,
It likes to live off vapours
And gather in large crowds.

The Glayoon

In the face of the spoon
You will see the Glayoon,
Smiling back with great glee,
It samples your food
When it’s in the mood
‘Cos it loves to eat food that is free!

Alien race

When you use a bar of soap
Watch out for a little face -
Trapped inside is a member
Of a scary alien race!

Bittenberg

Behind the back of the Bittenberg
The other monsters laugh,
The Bittenbery has a scummy neck
From never cleaning the bath.

The Winkletoe

Slither with the Winkletoe,
Sliding through dark holes,
The Winkletoe has many friends
But few of them are moles!

“Look at me!” shouted Jocelyn Dragon as she flew upside down. “Bet you can’t do that!”

“Ha!” shouted Meryl Dragon, “bet I can too!” and she flew upside down as well. “Bet YOU can’t do this!” and she stood on tiptoe in the air, flapping her wings so that it looked like she was standing on invisible ground.

“Of course I can do that!” shouted Jocelyn Dragon. “Look!”

“Alright,” shouted Meryl Dragon, “can you do THIS?!” and she did three somersaults in a row in the air, so that when she came out of them she didn’t know where she was for a moment.

“I can do FOUR!” shouted Jocelyn Dragon, and she span round in the air one, two, three, three and a half and – JUST – four times!

“Ouch, my head!” she said, as she straightened up. “I’ve got a headache now, I’m going to land on the beach!”

“Did that hurt?” laughed Meryl Dragon as they glided down to the beach.

“Yes!” said Jocelyn Dragon. “Yes it did!”

“Hard luck,” said Meryl Dragon, who didn’t really mean it.

Jocelyn Dragon shook her head for a moment and then looked around. The world had been wobbling all over the place but now it was starting to settle down.

“Look, what’s that?” she called out to Meryl Dragon, who was busy playing leap-up-in-the-air with the waves.

“What?” said Meryl Dragon. “Where? Ooh, now you’ve made me get my feet wet!”

“Over there,” said Jocelyn Dragon, “see?”

In the distance where the jungle met the beach was what looked like an old boat.

“Is it a boat?” asked Meryl Dragon. “Surely not!”

“Yes it is!” shouted Jocelyn Dragon who’d flown nearer to take a closer look. “It is!” and she flapped her wings with excitement. “It’s an old boat that nobody wants because it’s covered in plants! They must have left it here!”

“Let’s pull them off!” shouted Meryl Dragon excitedly. “Come on, you take that side and I’ll take this side!”

The two dragons worked very hard clearing away all the plants that were covering the boat. When they’d finished they stood back and admired it.

“I bet it floats!” said Jocelyn Dragon. “Let’s push it into the water and see!”

They pushed and pushed and they pulled and pulled and they tugged and tugged, and one of them pushed and one of them pulled, and one of them pulled and one of them pushed, but the little old boat refused to shift.

“Hmmm!” said Jocelyn Dragon, sitting down and thinking. “What if we got some vines and tied them to the front of the boat like a rope and then both of us pulled on the vines?”

“That sounds like a good idea,” said Meryl Dragon. “There’s lots of vines in the forest! You fly up and chop some down and I’ll collect them!”

So Jocelyn Dragon flew up to the tops of the trees and chopped down some really long vines, and Meryl Dragon stayed on the ground and picked them all up.

When they had four or five vines they dragged them out to the beach and tied them all together to make one really long vine and then they tied that really long vine around the front of the boat.

“Heave!” shouted Meryl Dragon as they put the rope of vines over their shoulders and pulled.

“Heave ho!” shouted Jocelyn Dragon as they both tugged and pulled together – but that boat was NOT going to move!

“Oh dear, this isn’t going to work at all,” said Jocelyn Dragon. “What SHALL we do now?”

“Will YOU help us?” Meryl Dragon shouted at the chattering squirrels who’d gathered round to laugh and jeer at them. “Please?” but the squirrels only laughed and shouted ‘NO!’

Up above a flock of seagulls had gathered to make fun of them, circling round in the air and shouting down rude things.

“Ha ha ha, silly little dragons, you’re not going to make THAT work!” they screeched.

“Hmmm!” said Jocelyn Dragon, who badly wanted to fly up and singe their feathers.

Out at sea a giant whale heard all the seagulls screeching and wanted to know what was going on.

“What’s happenning?” it boomed, its great voice echoing around the bay.

“Nothing to do with you!” the seagulls screamed back, so the huge whale (who was nosy) came closer to have a look.

Jocelyn Dragon saw the great face of the whale approaching and suddenly had an idea.

“Quick! I mean, slow! I mean – wait!” she shouted, dashing off into the jungle. Meryl Dragon looked puzzled for a moment then saw what her friend was up do and dashed after her.

“Get some more vines!” shouted Jocelyn Dragon and so they both flew up into the air and chopped down as many vines as they could before dragging them down to the beach and tying them all together. Then they tied their new rope to the rope of vines they’d already made and flew out with THAT rope to the whale.

“It’s not long enough!” yelled Meryl Dragon, so they both dashed back into the forest and found some more vines.

“That’ll do!” shouted Meryl Dragon at last as the long, long rope that they’d made reached right out to the whale. “TURN AROUND, WHALE!”

The whale turned around and the two dragons span and danced in the air, trying to tie their rope to the whale’s tail. Finally they managed it and they asked the great whale to swim out to sea – but slowly.

‘THRASH’ went its huge tail, and the little boat trembled but didn’t move.

“HEAVE” shouted the two dragons, and the whale pulled again with all its might.

“ONE MORE TIME!” the two dragons shouted together. ‘GO FOR IT!’ and the whale THRASHED its tail and pulled as hard as it could and suddenly the boat shot out of the jungle like a cork out of a bottle!

“YIPPEE!” shouted Meryl and Jocelyn Dragon and they leapt into the air and did high fives.

“THANK YOU, WHALE!” they shouted, and as one of them undid the rope from the whale’s tail the other one flew high into the air, looking out for shoals of fish.

“THAT WAY, WHALE!” Jocelyn Dragon shouted, pointing at a shoal of fish, and the whale boomed ‘THANK YOU!’ and moved out to sea where it could chase the fish and try and eat them.

“Whew!” said the two dragons, sitting down on the beach and looking at their little boat. But what was this? The water was around the boat but it was also INSIDE the boat as well! How did THAT happen?

“Naughty holes!” said Jocelyn Dragon crossly, poking her fingers into little holes she hadn’t seen before.

“There’s too MANY of them!” wailed Meryl Dragon, who was tired with all the pushing and pulling and wanted to rest.

“Nonsense!” said Jocelyn Dragon. “There must be a way to do this,” and she sat down and began to think again.

“Got it!” she said at last. “Follow me!”

Together they went into the jungle and Jocelyn Dragon began looking closely at all the trees.

“What are we looking for?” asked Meryl Dragon, not understanding what was happening.

“Resin,” said Jocelyn Dragon. “It comes from trees and it dries hard and if we melt it with our flames it becomes sticky. And all we have to do is mix it with some dried grass and it’ll fill all those holes. And then- voila!” meaning, ‘That’ll be it!”

“Okay,” said Meryl Dragon doubtfully. “If you say so …” but she didn’t sound too convinced. Nevertheless she began looking for resin as well.

“Here!” shouted Jocelyn Dragon, “see? And here’s a lump, and here’s another lump,” and she shaped a big leaf into a little bucket and put the resin in. “There! Now all we need is some dried grass – come on!”

At last they’d collected enough resin and dried grass and they went back to the boat. The tide had gone out again and the bottom of the boat was nearly dry.

Very carefully they heated up the resin with their flames, and very carefully they mixed in the dried grass, and then very, very carefully they worked their way around the little boat filling in all the holes.

“Done!” said Jocelyn Dragon at last. “Now we have to push the boat into the sea – and then we’ll see!” she said, and she laughed at her joke, because the two words sounded the same but meant different things. “Come on!”

With a lot of heaving and pushing the two dragons managed to get the boat into the water. Up above the gulls had stopped laughing and were now circling, nosy and curious.

“What are you going to do, little dragons?” they shouted. “Are we going to see you swim!?” they laughed, hoping the dragons would fall in – but the two dragons ignored them.

“YIPPEE!!” Jocelyn Dragon shouted, as their boat floated safely on the water. “COME ON!” and she jumped in and started paddling madly with her hands.

“WAIT FOR ME!” Meryl Dragon shouted, and she jumped in as well.

After a while they had a better idea, and one dragon sat in the front, looking out to sea, and the other sat in the back flapping her wings and moving them gently along.

“This is the life,” sighed Jocelyn Dragon as they drifted along.

“I could do this all day,” agreed Meryl Dragon as she stopped flapping her wings and let the boat go where it would.

Far below some fishes swam, behind them was the beach and the jungle, in the distance was the island where Jocelyn Dragon and her parents lived and up above was a clear blue sky.

“Well, we did it,” said Meryl Dragon as she began to doze.

“We certainly did,” agreed Jocelyn Dragon, lazily sticking her hands in the water. “We managed to get our little boat to float,” and she looked up at the seagulls and thought about the squirrels and muttered “HA!”

© Richard Macwilliam. This short story about a dragon, for kids aged 4-6, is based on the short poem for kids ‘The Little Dragon’

It’s where the booooooogies hide,

They nibble at your fingertips,

Then wriggle their way INSIDE!

They eat your brains out bit by bit,

Your eyeballs are a treat,

They use your skin for sausages,

And make paperweights with your feet!

Your hair becomes a cosy nest

Where they rear their maggotty young,

Your teeth are beads on their necklaces,

They love the taste of your TONGUE!

Your toenails make a lovely soup,

Your ears brush dust off the floor,

They stick your nose on the end of a tube,

Then vacuum up some more!

Your spine is used as a chair back,

Your ribs will dry their socks,

And you know what they use your fingers for?

The hands of their terrible clocks!

The THING had two eyes missing
(That left at least ten more),
And when I counted noses
I was pretty sure there were FOUR!

I watched it wriggle, heard it sneeze,
And then it started to SING -
The most awful part of the creature
Was the voice of that dreadful THING!

It screeched its way to the heavens,
Happily climbing my string,
Then gave me a bow with eight of its arms -
At least six of its arms were MISSING!

It crawled along the fishing rod,
Then stopped and gave me a wave,
It swiftly span on one of its feet -
And I didn’t feel so brave.

A giant claw came out of its mouth,
I dropped the rod and ran,
The THING danced slowly after me,
And as it danced it SANG.

It sang with the voice of a chain saw,
It danced with a mean-eyed grace,
When I looked behind it was pulling
The most impossible face!

I ran around the lake that night,
And the THING danced after me,
The claw kept clunking at the air
And I screamed endlessly!