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Eyes like a hawk

Eyes like a hawk
As the children play,

Ears like a bat’s
(For arguments),

Tuned in like a shark
(For blood and tears),

Nose like a dog for
FIRE, PERFUME, SPILT MILK, NAIL VARNISH

Timing like a snake’s
FOR GETTING THEM BACK INSIDE

Claws like a panther’s
(For putting them down when uppity)

Hands like an octopus
(For drinks, doors, food and smacks)
No, SNACKS, MISSPELLING!)

Brain like a computer
For calculating
Their mood
Their friends’ mood
The last time they ate
And
‘Who’s not had a toilet break’?

Mouth like a lawyer’s
(For persuasion)

Skin like a Rhino’s for
Swearing
Insults
Bad behaviour

Digestive system like a tank
(For grinding up leftovers – naughty!)

Two brains for shopping
(One for them, one for the food)

Three brains for when they’re outside
(One listening, one for cooking, one for the radio)

Four brains when it’s tea-time
(One for fights, one for the T.V, one for the meal, one for emergencies)

Energy of a horse
(To keep going where company chairmen would flag)

Decision making powers of a General
(For snap judgements that will affect the rest of their lives)

Game plan of a chess master
(For every day, every month and every year)

Napping ability of a cat
(For instant recovery)

Analytical ability of a psychiatrist
(For figuring out what THAT was all about!)

Patience of a missileer
(For surviving it all)

Lungs like a whale’s
(For venting forth frustration)

Pocket of a bank
(For endless treats)

Skills of a medic
(Just in case)

Restraint of a warrior
(When driven mad)

Diplomatic skills of an ambassador
(For their friend’s parents)

Drive of an entrepreneur
(To get them to school)

Tolerance of a saint
(When things get broken)

Love of a mother -

Heck,
Love of a mother AND a Dad.

Oct. 2001

You don’t have to be a Mum to look after kids – you can also be a Dad! This humorous poem looks at all the skills you need to bring up children.

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