The Environment Agency

We're from the Environment Agency,
The floods have hit you bad -
We're here to sort the mess out
(Now that'll make you glad!)

We're busy, busy people,
There's lots that we can do -
A billion tons of water's
No match for our brave crew!

When you're feeling tired and down,
When you've nearly drowned -
Just phone us on our hotline
And we'll quickly pop around!

We'll give you our analysis,
Point fingers in the air -
Pretend that we have answers,
That you're safe in our good care.

We'll sandbag your damp doorstep,
Put a 'copter in the sky -
We'll survey the destruction
In the twinkling of an eye.

Yet we're relics from the past,
When the dinosaurs were here -
Our only real function
Is to soothe away your fear.

Basically we're hopeless,
We haven't got a clue -
In the face of Mother Nature
There's SOD ALL that we can do.

Oh, we're busy, busy, busy,
There's adverts on T.V -
We have a big department
And we act importantly.

(Chorus): We're from the Environment Agency,
The floods have hit you bad -
We're here to sort the mess out
(Now that'll make you glad!)